Don’t tell me no; Blueberry sweet rolls

August 12, 2014 at 4:10 pm Leave a comment

Sometimes hearing “no” just rankles. You have done it your way for what feels like thousands of years. You are efficient at doing it your way. You know it works. When someone tells you, “no, you can’t do it that way,” even if it is a gentle like a breeze on your skin, do you feel the rebellion starting in your sinuses like a big hit of wasabi? Does a little fire of defiance start in your belly? Don’t do this, don’t do that, like I’m a child at this game. Just makes me want to slam the door, or in this case, my laptop, but I won’t because I love my lappy and want her to last a very long time, so I’ll just tap command W very hard to close the window, then more gently command Z to reopen it, because I really do want that recipe.

I recently felt this way while toodling around the internet on my usual blogs looking for a way to use up the fresh blueberries that wouldn’t last the five days we would be gone to Oregon. Sally’s Baking Addiction delivered the blueberry sweet roll solution. I got all excited and went to work on a half-recipe. Then perhaps my blood sugar dropped or the adrenaline from saving the screwed up batch of fudgy chocolate meringue cookies wore off. The red writing and the “no!” on Sally’s recipe flipped my switch to “pissed off.”

Don’t use thawed frozen berries. Don’t refrigerate. But… but… Grrrr! VanillaGarlic never tells me no; he says do whatever you want, because he does. I felt Sally’s approach smothering, but I was a little susceptible to these negative feelings at this time.

When people tell me no, I want an explanation as to why. I can easily ask that in person, but sometimes a little harder in a blog.

“But Dad, why can’t I cut apples my way?”

“But Uncle, why can’t I eat the fermented figs?”

IMG_2378Usually, I don’t read Sally’s post, I just skip right down to the recipe. But this time I searched for the why in her post. Frozen blueberries release their juice and fresh ones don’t. Let me refute that right now. They release their juice just fine when fresh. She also says frozen berries allow you to have this lovely rolls in the winter, when they are not in season. Well, my dear, you can also have fresh blueberries in the off-season, you might just pay dearly for them. Or perhaps this is only true in California. She gave no reason why I shouldn’t refrigerate my rolls. I do it all the time. The New Better Homes and Garden red and white checker cookbook says I can. And I do it all the time with brioche dough. And why do I have to replace my lemon flavor with vanilla? What if I want to use orange or almond or cardamom or frigging nutmeg?

And why is your search box so hard to find on your blog? And how can you get away with eating all this crap?

Okay, Maggie. Breathe. Could you be jealous? Yes. It just looks like she eats this way all the time, and she’s cute, and blond and white and entitled and skinny! I want to eat all these good things, too, but I have to work so hard to offset that damage. Sally probably does, too; she said so on Facebook. Sigh.

IMG_2382While I judge her harshly for using a junk food (pretzels, snickers, etc.) in her recipes, her posts don’t inspire me all that much, and her blog is a little cutesy (but I do like the circle up-sell photo links on the side), she does have some great “skinny” and “sky high,” gluten free, and vegan recipes.

So check out Sally’s recipe. It is good. Or combine your favorite sweet roll dough recipe (maybe even a brioche?), fruity filling, and glaze to make your own amazing breakfast rolls to use up fruit before you go on vacation. I give you the permission to do what you want, be wild and crazy. Then tell me all about it in the comments, even if you don’t read this post until 2015.

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Entry filed under: Baking. Tags: , , .

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